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Paul Kibe

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  1. Paul Y.
    The story, "I am a salesman" IS IN PAST TENSE..only in dialogue it has to sound like present tense.
  2. Paul Y.
    You points were taken in The Killer's Ghost but despite that, it was of no consequence, as the feedback majority viewed it differently and I am happy to say most positively. Thank for you comment however.
  3. Uma Sreekumar
    thanks for your comment pauly, actually i was confused whether the readers will understand the term BRIDES OF ARAVAN
  4. Paul Y.
    Thanks for your critique on the Hundred Dollar Bill. On the twist of the story, it was more in the middle, where the thug turned out to be his childhood friend. I didn't want to add more on that, wanted to keep it at 1100 words so some people may think it was rushed a bit. Thanks again for your feedback.
  5. Paul Y.
    Hi, on "The Plan", thanks for your comment. I had already updated/revised it on another site. I had good reviews. This site is usually my testing ground before advancing to other stages/advanced sites for my work.
  6. Kerry Shepherd
    thank you so much for your comment on my story Penance ...hope you meant amazing in a good way! thank you.
  7. Kerry Shepherd
    thank you so much for your comment on my story Penance ...hope you meant amazing in a good way! thank you.
  8. Kerry Shepherd
    thank you so much for your comment on my story Penance ...hope you meant amazing in a good way! thank you.
  9. Jessica Jones
    Thank you very much; glad you enjoyed it :) xx
  10. D M W
    Thanks for your words of encouragement Paul.
  11. Chris Wilson
    Re cock robin. I am glad you enjoyed the story. Re the murder . Before he came home she unpinned a couple of stair rods and treads and damaged his slippers so that the laces would snap and the stair carpet would be loose. She then cooked an early meal so as to hurry him out of the bath and then once he had fallen and died she changed his shoes, fixed the stair rod and treads & after adjusting her demeaour she called the police and witnesses,no prints,just a sad accident
  12. Chris Wilson
    Hi Paul, re your paragraphs. Try a complete scene break by a line of dots etc. This gives greater freedom of time space and dramatic licence. Eg "the thriller". He avoids the house then misses the cat. A scene break takes out "but then the" which is a bit akward. Remember even a different view point can be a different scene. see "Entente Cordiale" on my site, it may well help you.Your stories though, your ideas, your choice
  13. Chris Wilson
    Hi paul, glad you are enjoying the ferryman, as regards its meaning; well, things are not always as simple as they seem; just watch out for the ferryman!
  14. Rashma N.Kalsie
    Hello there. The debate topic is how good are online sites? You can follow the thread in Open House, an entry I made today. But to post comments you will have to navigate to One Too Many, an article I had posted some time back. Sorry abt this roundabout way,I realized today that the option for comments has been removed from articles now. One too many is an old entry when they had an option of comments.Feel free to write and as much as you want. Others will join u here. SEE you.
  15. Chris Wilson
    Hi paul, sorry about any delays. I've been off the island for a few days and now it's xmas fast approaching. I am in the retail sector so I shall be busy but more stories will appear A.S.A.P
  16. Rashma N.Kalsie
    Pl follow the article, 'how good is it anyway' on my main page. The disussion is abt writing/publishing for online sites. Pl leave an answer there, so may be others can comment as well on it as well.
  17. Rashma N.Kalsie
    Have started a discussion in article, 'how good is it anyway'. Pl contribute as comments etc.
  18. Chris Wilson
    Hi Paul. Feedback on your comments. Glad u liked eye spy, one of my favourites as well. As regards the onion tree, well it's part a recollection of a question i once asked and part a cross generational "feel good" story. Sorry to dissapoint you, and others, but the God factor was largely thrown in for additional colour and a neat intriguing story close down. Still it seems to have worked anyhow
  19. Chris Wilson
    Hi Paul, just a follow up quikie. Don'be affraid about folowing your own writing style, or adopting other styles you see around you. your brain, your mind, and your choice of style or subject is yours and yours alone. Unless you are writing for comercial profit there are no rules or regs so let your mind and your pen go when and where ever they will.Above all have fun and remember stories are everywhere!
  20. Chris Wilson
    Hi Paul,glad you liked popsi, jeannie, and the article. "jeannie" is a sad story yet regretably all to true. Popsi was fun to write, the repitition of the question, why do you want to cry was a reflection of how tears can be so more more than just about sadness. Often the tears of happiness and relief hurt far more than those which are caused by pain. I know, I've got the t shirt!.Have fun with the challanges by the way
  21. Chris Wilson
    HI Paul, ref the ghost tour comments. Someone once told me my writing style was old fashioned; if so such a value still seems to have some potential today. looking forward to reading your stories now I have a bit more time
  22. Chris Wilson
    Hi Paul, glad you liked paddling in the sea. It is a bitter sweet story yet regeatblly all to common. Some people just cannot accept or move on
  23. Please Wait...
    15/11/2010Please Wait
    Thanks for your recent comments on my piece 'Departure Looms', Afrikana. Apologies for the late reply. I'm glad the poetry showed through for you. That's kind of what I was aiming for, kind of what I aim for in most of my prose. I just wish it would lend itself to my more general oratory. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Much appreciated (-:
  24. Andrew Watson
    Thanks for the kind words. Have a look at my other story "A place of fears" and let me know what you think.
Paul Kibe

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